Slippin' and a Slidin' Emmett Cullen Style
by dazzleglo
Summary: What happens when you have one bored vampire who has been stuck in the house because of the sun and a two year old who encourages him to act like a two year old? You get Emmett designing his own summer of fun and sucking everyone into it with him.
1. Bored

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer's does.**

**Summary: What happens when you have one bored vampire who has been stuck in the house because of the sun and a two year old who encourages him to act like a two year old? You get Emmett designing his own summer of fun and sucking everyone into it with him.**

**A special thanks to nails233 for her help. BTW, you should check out her stories.**

**Slippin' and a Slidin' Emmett Cullen Style**

**Chapter 1**

**Emmett's POV**

It is yet another sunny day in Forks and there is absolutely nothing to do but sit around the house. I mean, seriously, when did Forks suddenly become the sunshine capital, that's supposed to be Florida. In the past few days, I had already annoyed everyone to the point where they were not even speaking to me. What's with people that cannot take a few jokes or pranks? So…here I sit, watching some boring movie that Alice picked out about two people who meet and fall instantly in love. I rolled my eyes thinking that it is such a crock, it never happens like that, it's totally unrealistic. Although, Edward and Bella did, but those two are just weird, so it doesn't count.

"Hey Alice, how many more days of sunshine," I whined.

"Emmett, if I told you once, I've told you a hundred times, it will be another week. You're just going to have to suck it up and deal. Do you think anybody would notice if I dragged you out and turned you into a jigsaw puzzle? Hunh...food for thought," like she could beat me!

Maybe I'll prank Bella today; at least she retaliates against me and rather enjoys doing it. Although, she is probably down at the cottage sucking face with my stick in the mud brother, so I will just have to find another target. Just as I was deciding on who and what prank I might play today, in walked Jake carrying Nessie. Well maybe my day was starting to look up.

"Hey Jake, how's it going man? Come here munchkin and give your favorite uncle a hug," Nessie ran over jumping into my arms and squealed.

"Doing good Em."

"I wish I could say the same, I'm stuck here with a bunch of humorless vampires that just don't appreciate me. So, what are you guys up to today?"

"We're going to the beach Uncle Emmett, do you want to come with us," then she placed her hand on my face showing Jake, me and her building sandcastles and playing in the water.

"I wasn't invited and besides I'd sparkle in the sun, so don't think I can come," I pouted and hung my head in sadness.

"Yes you can because everyone there knows you sparkle and I'm inviting you."

"Umm Nessie, we're going to La Push and Emmett's not allowed to come there," Jake said.

"Jake, I totally understand, no worries man," I said as I flopped myself back onto the couch with a moan.

"But…I want him to, you're in charge so…if you say it is okay, then he can," her little lip started quivering and tears fell. I have to say she looks so like her mother right now and has Jake wrapped around her tiny finger, just like Bella does with Edward.

"Okay Ness, Emmett do you want to come with us to the beach? I can't believe I'm doing this, but how can I refuse her."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? I TOTALLY WANT TO GO. LA PUSH BABY! Give me a minute so I can get me swim trunks and stuff. We can take my jeep; you can even drive it if you want."

"Did you actually say I could drive your pride and joy, wow; you must want to go. I wonder…," he chuckled as I sprinted up the stairs.

"Totally dude," I bellowed back as I reached my room.

**Jacob's POV**

"Jacob that was very nice of you, but are you sure this isn't going to cause problems with the elder's? I mean trust me, and I speak for everyone here when I say we want Emmett to go, but I could speak with him or talk to Ness about why he can't," Carlisle said.

"No Carlisle, it's okay. Nessie wants him to come and you know I can't refuse her, besides I'm the Alpha and that's all there is to it."

"Well, all I can say is that we ALL very much appreciate you doing this, so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU," if I didn't know any better I'd swear Carlisle wanted to hug me and just then everyone else ran in and did hug me, even Rosalie and she's married to the guy.

"Sure Sure, no worries. Ummm…I was just wondering that since Alice said it's going to be sunny for another week that maybe the whole family would like to come to the beach tomorrow and the bonfire at night?" Yep…the elder's are going to kill me, but I don't care, the Cullen's are good people and have helped us out, so why shouldn't we help them now.

Jeez, I know he is a nuisance and all, but for everyone to want him to leave, I guess they have been locked in the house together for way too long. We've had sun every day for over a week and I know being in the house with him for even a few hours can be bad, so he's probably standing on everyone's last nerve ending by now.

"Oh Jacob, you don't know what this means to us, he's just about driven us insane. I'm going to pack you guys some food," Esme said hugging me and then running off to the kitchen. She was back in a flash with a giant picnic basket. Like I would turn down food and it will certainly placate the pack when we arrive that is for sure.

"Thanks Esme, you know that you didn't have to do it, but I know everyone will be thrilled with it. Has it really been that bad here?"

"You have no idea, between the inappropriate jokes, pranks and fights that have broken out and destroyed some of my furniture; I am at my wits end. We have been in the house for over a week now and it is going to be at least another week of sunshine so I am not sure how much more I can take, especially considering he has brought Bella over to the dark side. Unfortunately, Emmett doesn't handle it well or maybe it's just that we don't appreciate his brand of entertainment," Esme said.

I always knew Bella had an evil fun side from when we were kids, so I am not surprised she is going back at Emmett. I didn't have the heart to tell Esme that Emmett did not bring her over to the dark side because she was already there and it would just cause her to worry that she might have two Emmett's on her hands.

"Sorry, I had no idea it was that bad. I'm glad that he's going then because he'll be able to work off some steam with us."

**Carlisle's POV**

I could not believe we were going to get rid of Emmett for the entire day. To say that I was shocked that Jacob had invited him to La Push's beach would be an understatement, but then again his imprintee wanted it so he was bound to find a way to make it happen. At least Esme will not lose any more furniture today and we will all have some peace and quiet for a change, but I had to ask if it was really okay.

"Jacob that was very nice of you, but are you sure this isn't going to cause problems with the elder's? I mean trust me, and I speak for everyone here when I say we want Emmett to go, but I could speak with him or talk to Ness about why he can't," please God, let him be able to go I prayed and maybe Esme will let me go to work today. After about 4 days of having Emmett in the house 24/7, she insisted that I take some of the massive amount of my accumulated vacation from the hospital to help control him.

"No Carlisle, it's okay. Nessie wants him to come and you know I can't refuse her, besides I'm the Alpha and that's all there is to it."

"Well, all I can say is that we ALL very much appreciate you doing this, so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU," I really couldn't thank him enough and had to refrain myself from jumping up and hugging him.

"Sure Sure, no worries. Ummm…I was just wondering that since Alice said it's going to be sunny for another week that maybe the whole family would like to come to the beach tomorrow and the bonfire at night?"

After he spoke with Esme for a few minutes, she fluttered off to pack their lunch. She hasn't been this happy in days, I like it! Still I had to make sure it was going to be alright.

"Jacob are you sure? It is one thing to have Emmett for the day, but quite another for all us to come onto your land. Maybe you should check with Billy if we're all coming for the day."

"No Carlisle, you guys have helped us out many times and now that you need some help, well what are friends for after all. Besides, I know you think I didn't know that it is you who is sending the mysterious packages of medical supplies and equipment that seem to show up every week or so at our clinic," I smiled sheepishly as I was busted, but it wouldn't stop me from doing it again.

"Well then, on behalf of my family, we accept your kind invitation. However, I insist that since you will be supplying the venue, that we provide the food."

"Deal! But you do realize that you have just volunteered to feed a small army, right?" he chuckled.

"Jacob, we have seen you guys eat, it's not a problem. Now, go and have a good day, we'll see you later," so off went the three of them. Just then, Alice let out a gut wrenching scream.

**Alice's POV**

After I heard we were invited to the beach tomorrow, I screamed out in horror at the thought that I had barely a day to shop for all our beach attire.

"Alice, what is it? Is Emmett going to start a war today? Is there going to be a problem if we go tomorrow? You're freaking us out," Rosalie said.

"No, I just realized that I only had a day to shop for all our beach attire and plan everything. First, let's get Edward and Bella up here. Second, let's make a list of food we will need. Finally, check our beach toy situation in the garage."

I quickly dialed Bella. "Bella, I don't care what you two are doing, but you and Edward need to get up to the main house now and make sure you're shielding Edward from our thoughts when you get here."

"Alice you're scaring me, what's wrong. Is Ness okay?"

"Ness is fine; they just left for the beach. We just have a surprise for you guys. Well, it's not just for you two, but all of us and I want him to be surprised."

"Okay, we're on our way."

**Edward's POV**

I was really looking forward to Bella and I having a nice relaxing day in our cottage alone for a change today. We were snuggling on the couch enjoying the peace and quiet when Bella's phone rang.

"Don't answer it love," I pleaded and rubbed lazy circles on her back.

"I have to, what if it's about Ness," I sighed knowing she was right, but when she groaned, "Alice," I knew our day was over.

"Alice you're scaring me, what's wrong. Is Ness okay?" I was instantly on alert and then she waved at me indicating everything was okay and hung up.

"Okay, what does the crazy pixie want?"

"We've been summoned to the main house immediately, apparently they have a surprise for us," I groaned, but figured no use fighting Alice, so I placed a loving kiss on her lips and off we went. As we arrived at the house, I noticed Bella was shielding me from everyone's thoughts, oh…that cannot be good.

"Alright Alice, we're here. What is so important that you dragged us here?" she was almost vibrating with excitement.

"Well, we've all been invited to the beach at La Push and bonfire there tomorrow night. LA PUSH BABY!" WHAT?

"LA PUSH BABY!" Bella screamed and began to dance around.

"Are you crazy? We cannot go there! Carlisle?"

"Yes…we can, Jacob has invited us and as the Alpha, he has the right. I already accepted the invitation and told him we would bring the food, besides Emmett is already spending today there. So…if he doesn't start a war, why not?" I am sure I must have looked like a fish with my mouth hanging open when Carlisle said that.

"What you don't want to take the opportunity to spend a day at the beach with your family? Your daughter? Your wife in a new bikini that I'll be buying her today?" Okay...I could not argue with that logic and thinking of my Bella in a bikini had me smiling like a fool.

"LA PUSH BABY," Jazz, Alice and Bella screamed one after another.

"Okay, I'll go if you stop screaming that," I laughed and kissed my wife thinking how I had wished I could have gone to the beach that day when she'd invited me two years ago, but now I was and I couldn't be more thrilled. The planning that ensued was nothing short of a crazy whirlwind.

"Hey Wolf Girl, this is Vampire Girl. I'm sure Jake has told you about inviting us tomorrow. So, since we cannot go to the store, we are going to order the food and have it delivered to you. Okay? Great, see you tomorrow," did she just insult Sam's wife?

"Wolf Girl? Vampire Girl? Do I even want to know?"

"Probably not, but just some nicknames we have for one another when I went to her house and met all the guys one time," okay…I really did not want to know she was in a room with volatile wolves. Yup, still overprotective.

"Edward, give me the keys to the Volvo, I have to go to the mall for tomorrow's wardrobe and my car won't hold everything."

"No way, take the jeep."

"Jake's driving that today," whoa - I must be in an alternate universe if Emmett is letting someone drive his prized possession.

"NO," just then my wife thought at me, '_Edward give her the keys before she drags me with her, because if I have to go, you will be coming too and you'll be sleeping on the couch for the next week.'_

"I don't sleep love," I smirked. '_Be that as it may, but let me be more clear, your lips will NOT be on these lips and there will be NO alone time._' WHAT? OH - MY - GOD!

"Alice, here are the keys, be careful, have a good time."

"Thanks and while I'm gone, you guys get out the beach toys from the garage and call me with the inventory," and she was gone. Bella, Esme and Rose were giggling as they ran into the garage to do the inventory.

"So you were threatened with the couch little brother?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I felt the momentary spike of fear and then you should have seen the look on your face when you pitched the keys at Alice. We've all been there, mostly Emmett, but suffice it to say the couch is no fun, good choice," and the three of us just laughed as we made our way to the garage to help the ladies.

"I know this is probably a stupid question, but we have beach toys when we don't go to the beach?"

"Alice," Jazz and Carlisle said in unison and we all laughed again.

**Note: I know they all fell instantly in love, but it is from Emmett's skewed view...and you know how that goes.**

**A/N This is my first stab at writing on my own, so please let me know if you like it and should continue the story.**


	2. Sweet Freedom

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer's does.**

**Summary: What happens when you have one bored vampire who has been stuck in the house because of the sun and a two year old who encourages him to act like a two year old? You get Emmett designing his own summer of fun and sucking everyone into it with him.**

**A special thanks to nails233 for her help. BTW, you should check out her stories, they are awesome.**

**Sorry about the long wait for this chapter, but life seemed to get in the way of getting this out to you. I promise to do better.**

**Slippin' and a Slidin' Emmett Cullen Style**

**Chapter 2 – SWEET FREEDOM**

**Emmett's POV**

Ahh, sweet, sweet freedom, how totally awesome it feels. I am finally free from the house of doom and gloom. If anyone told me two years ago that I would be spending a day on La Push's beach with werewolves, I would have told them they needed psychiatric help and hooked them up with Carlisle. But now, here I am on the way to the beach with my lovely niece and guys that really know how to have a good time. IT IS SO TOTALLY GOING TO BE OFF-THE-HOOK!

"Hey Jake, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, those vampires were getting on my last nerve ending."

"No problem, but I thought it was the other way around," he laughed.

"Nah, they just don't know how to have fun like I do. Well Bella does, she's the only one who is any challenge," when she can slip away from my emo brother.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what it is. Em when we get there, do me a favor and let me explain why you're with me. Also, please try not to piss off or fight with Paul."

"No problem, although isn't Paul always pissed off? The guy has some serious issues," maybe he needs to see Carlisle, might have to point that out to him.

"Yeah, that he is. By the way what did you mean by Bella being a challenge?"

**Jacob's POV**

As we were driving to the beach, I quickly phoned Sam to let him know what was going on, but he had already left for the beach, so I spoke to Emily.

"Emily, I've invited the Cullen's to the beach and bonfire tomorrow since they've been stuck in the house because of the sun. They're bringing the food."

"Jake, that's wonderful, we're going to have a great time. I can't wait to see 'vampire girl,'" okay, I was officially astounded, for two groups who were not supposed to get along, we sure did.

Now I just had to make sure Emmett didn't piss off Paul before I could explain everything to them. He said he would, but I had my doubts, we're talking Emmett and Paul here.

"Em when we get there, do me a favor and let me explain why you're with me. Also, please try not to piss off or fight with Paul," there was about a 1% chance of that not happening.

"No problem, although isn't Paul always pissed off? The guy has some serious issues," yeah, just like you.

"Yeah, that he is. By the way what did you mean by Bella being a challenge?"

"It was totally awesome, I decided to have a little fun and put some green hair dye in her shampoo. You should have seen her; she didn't realize her hair was green until Edward pointed it out. He actually told her that he thought her hair looked lovely dyed green."

"WHAT, are you serious, he told her he liked it?" the dude is totally whipped.

"Well, he thought she did it intentionally and was afraid to upset her, you know how insecure those two are. As you can imagine, she totally flipped out, if she was still human her face would have been purple, Edward's too. Naturally, Edward came storming up to the house yelling that he was going to kill me and then pounced on me. That was how Esme's side table ended up broken and there was a giant Edward-sized hole in the front door. Needless to say, Esme was not happy; she called Carlisle at the office demanding he come home immediately, as well as informing him he would be taking some vacation time until the sun wasn't shining anymore. When Carlisle got home he was so angry."

"I can't even imagine Carlisle being angry, wow, who would have thought."

"He would have been even angrier had it not been for the fact that when he arrived home I was standing there with hot pink hair and Bella with her green hair. That wasn't even the worst part, Rose decided to wash her hair after I had and hers was pink too," just then Nessie showed me what they looked like and I burst out laughing.

"So Bella exacted her revenge, well I have to say that it's not surprising at all. When we were kids, her and my sisters used to prank and do stuff to me all the time. One time they convinced me that a mud pie was a real pie and I ate it. Trust me when I tell you that Bella lives on the 'dark side' you didn't bring her over like Esme thinks."

All the guys were there when we arrived at the beach and when the three of us walked up the look of shock on their faces was priceless. It was, of course, Paul who voiced himself first.

"What the hell is this Jake?" pointing at Emmett.

"Nessie wanted him to come with us to the beach and you know I can't refuse my imprint, so you're going to have to deal with it. Besides, Esme made us a ton of food," please let the food be enough.

"Alright, what did she pack," he grumbled and I knew I had him. Seth and Quil just looked excited to see Emmett since they knew he was a wild card and up for anything.

**Emmett's POV**

Once Paul calmed down, I turned to look at Seth and Quil who were very excited to see me. I knew it was because I was totally awesome to hang out with and more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

"Hey Em, good to see ya, wanna come do some cliff diving with us?" Seth said.

"Hell yeah! Ness, I'll be back in a little bit and we'll build a sandcastle and then Jake can go cliff diving, okay?"

"Okay, come back soon."

We arrived at the cliffs and I was having a blast, it was an adrenaline rush, well it would be if I had any. Jasper, Carlisle and Edward are going to really enjoy it. After going off numerous times with them, they turned to me with mischievous grins and a glint in their eyes that I recognized all too well, since it was like looking in a mirror. Oh yeah, we were about to do something evil and I was totally on board with that.

"So Emmett, we were thinking that since you're here, that it might be time to put Paul in his place. He's been a real pain in the butt when we're in wolf form trying to act like he's in charge or something."

"Yeah, I could see that just by the way he approached Jake when we got here. What did you guys have in mind? I have no problem bringing him down a peg or two."

"Well, we need your strength and speed, so we'll distract him while leading him to beach, then you can run right in and grab his sorry butt," yeah he'll never see me coming.

"Great plan, did I mention that you guys are my favorite wolves in the world."

"We're the only wolves in the world you know. Let's go," we laughed as we made our run back to the beach.

**Paul's POV**

To say I was shocked and fuming that Jake brought a Cullen to the beach would be the understatement of the year. I know his imprint wanted her uncle to come, but seriously, Jake could have put his foot down. So now I'm here having to make nice with the big oaf vampire, might as well make the best of it. Well, at least his mom packed food for all of us. I started working on the sandcastle with Ness and Jake when Seth and Quil came back to the beach.

"Hey Paul, come over here, we wanted to ask you something before we head back to the cliffs," geez these guys are a nuisance, but I headed over anyway.

"What's up?"

"Nothing, we were just wondering if you planned on bringing Kim to the bonfire tomorrow night."

"Ye..aa.h," just then the big oaf flew in, grabbed my arms lifting me up. "Put me down, I'm going to kill you Cullen," then Seth and Quil grabbed my legs. "Seth, Quil what the heck," they aimed me towards the water.

"Ready, on the count of three, One, Two, Three," Cullen counted and I was flying through the air out into the ocean. I landed a good three miles out, but I could still hear the three of them laughing their asses off. I swam to the shore not only to find Seth, Quil and Cullen, but Embry, Jake and Sam now in hysterics too. I was seething.

"You guys better sleep with one eye open, I'm not letting this go."

"Hey, I don't sleep, so whatcha going to do?" Cullen laughed and turned to the other guys.

"Don't worry, I gottcha backs, you can sleep with both eyes closed."

"Urgh, maybe you don't sleep, but I'd suggest you not turn your back on me," yeah a little fear never hurt.

"Dude, bring it on, I'm always ready, ask Rose."

**Emmett's POV**

The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful, we played in the water and I built a few sand castles with Nessie. My sandcastle was totally awesome if I do say so myself, even Ness was asking whose castle it belonged to. Hehehe, Edward is going to kill me, but I couldn't resist.

"Uncle Emmett, whose castle is that? Mine's a princess castle."

"Oh, you mean Beauty and the Beast? Mommy's the beauty and daddy's the beast?"

"Daddy's not a beast; he's the pretty prince that saved the princess. What's that red stuff around the bottom of your castle?"

"That's the moat and because the castle belongs to a Vampire named Count Dracula, its blood," her eyes were wide as saucers now.

"Does grandpa know him?"

"Yes, he does, you should ask him about it sometime," oh this is going to be fun when she asks, I cannot wait.

Just then, Emily called Sam and told us we should head up to the house for lunch, what the heck nothing like horsing around with some food and the guys already ate everything Esme sent, except the basket, although Embry was eyeing it.

"Hi Emily, so what's for lunch?" she eyed me suspiciously.

"I made hot dogs, but you don't eat, right?"

"No, not really, but just thought I'd ask in case you had a deer hiding in here somewhere for me. You're a great hostess, so you never know," she rolled her eyes and the guys burst out laughing.

Before the hot dogs even made it to the table, the guys started arguing over who could eat the most.

"I ate 10 the last time," Seth said.

"But then you were sick for two days, pleeez. I ate 15 and was fine, try outdoing that," Paul said and I couldn't resist the potential for betting.

"I bet I could eat more than any of you."

"You don't eat," Paul said.

"What's that got to do with anything, I most certainly can eat. Are you chicken, afraid you're going to lose to a vampire?"

"I AM NOT CHICKEN and everyone knows wolves can eat more than vampires any day of the week," smug bastard was going down.

"Hmmm, are you sure? Do you want to make it interesting?"

"Put up or shut up Cullen. If I win, you can't come tomorrow."

"Okay, if I win, you have to go up to Rose tomorrow when we come giving her a hug, a kiss, tell her how happy you are to see her and how she should visit more often."

"DEAL, shake on it," so we shook on it and Emily put a plate of 20 hot dogs in front of each of us.

As I stuffed one hot dog after another in my mouth, the guys were yelling 'go, go, go, go' and by hot dog 16 Paul was slowing down, by 17 looking green and by 18 puked. I on the other hand ate all 20 and was proud of it.

"You are the man, knew you could beat Paul," Seth said and I started dancing, pulling Emily into it with me

"Emmett, put me down," she laughed and Sam rolled his eyes.

"Alright, alright, but I needed a lovely lady to share my victory dance with, because it wouldn't be complete otherwise."

"Hope you enjoy kissing Rose tomorrow," Embry said and Paul growled. He was definitely a sore loser.

Emily then kicked us out of her kitchen since we ate everything not nailed to the ground. We headed back to the beach and I told Jake he should go cliff diving with the guys now and I'd stay with Ness, so off they went.

"Ness, what do you want to do?"

"I want to go cliff diving too."

"Okay, let's go," and off we went.

**Jacob's POV**

I couldn't believe Emmett bested Paul in eating hot dogs. Paul was so pissed that he lost, not only because he lost, but also he lost to a vampire and said vampire was the one who chucked in him the ocean. Other than Paul, everyone had a good time and the three of us headed back to the Cullen's. As we turned up the drive to the house, I looked over and Emmett was not looking so good.

"Hey man, are you okay, you don't look so good?"

"No not really, feeling a bit weird," he then started moaning and clutching his head. This was not good, so I hit the gas.

"Yeah, I think you ate too many hot dogs," too many would be one bite if you asked me.

"Nah, can't be, must be the ocean water I swallowed," then he started to double over.

I threw the car in park and ran out yelling. "WE NEED A DOCTOR OUT HERE, NOW, SOMEONE, ANYONE, NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME," just then everyone came flying out the door behind Carlisle.

"What's the matter is Ness hurt?" Carlisle said.

"No it's Emmett, he's doubled over, moaning and holding his head."

"Emmett, son, what's the matter, what happened?" Carlisle looked frantic; I don't think he's ever seen a vampire look like that.

"Dad, I think it was all the ocean water I swallowed," yeah it couldn't have been the hot dogs.

"Jake what do you mean he ate hot dogs," Edward said.

"Awe it was totally awesome, he bet Paul he could eat more hot dogs than him and he DID. Paul ended up puking after number 18," Ness then put her hand to Bella's neck and showed her. Bella was now hysterical and Edward was trying to hold back his laughter, but not doing a very good job of it. Rose was giggling over her crazy husband and if Jasper were human I'm sure by now he'd have tears in his eyes from laughing so hard for his and everyone else's emotions.

"Emmett, son, you know you're going to have to expel them, right? It's the only way you're going to feel any better. What in the world possessed you? Never mind silly question. Please don't do this again, you guys gave us quite a fright, come on, I'll help you inside and we'll take care of this," Esme and Carlisle helped him inside and into the bathroom to start the gross process, something that I hope never to have to see or hear again.

"Hey, where's Alice?"

"Shopping for tomorrow's beach day. She'll be back at 9:45pm, the stores close at 9p and it's a 45 min car ride home," Bella said rolling her eyes. I cannot imagine what she's buying, not sure I even want to know.

"OH GOD, JUST LET ME DIE. RIP ME APART, SET ME ON FIRE AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY," Emmett was howling from the bathroom as Esme, Carlisle and Rose tried to console him. After about a half hour of that, he came out looking all happy go lucky.

"So is everyone excited about tomorrow? I can't wait, we're going to have a blast," Emmett said.

"Yeah, just remember no more eating hot dogs or FOOD in general!" Carlisle said.

"Of course not dad, once bitten twice shy you know. I wouldn't be that stupid."

**A/N Hey everyone! I have been working on three stories with nails233. One I even co-wrote and contributed to the other two heavily! We are very proud of our hard work and would love it if you would check them out. They are exclusively on the writer's coffee shop library site. We would absolutely love it if anyone voted for any one of them. The poll is on the library home page. The stories are:**

**Whether You Love Him or Not (A romance about an arranged marriage)**

**Fate of the Fairies (This is a tale about the good side and the bad side of the winged creatures. Don't let the first 2 chapters fool you; this is not a cute, fluffy Tinkerbelle tale. These are not the goodie too shoes from Disney.)**

**Diaries of a Lonely Teenager (This story is about a life lesson learned the hard way.)**


	3. La Push Baby Pt 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer's does. I do own a Disney Dooney & Bourke cruise line hand bag though and am a part time travel agent.**

**A special thanks to nails233 for her help. BTW, you should check out her stories, they are awesome. She also has written a book called Mocked by Destiny which can be purchased on the Writer's Coffee Shop website. It's a great read. A****fter successfully publishing her first novel, Michele wants to get it into the hands of readers by exhibiting at Boston Book Festival and to do that she is trying to raise money to support it. If you wish to contribute here is the link, just remove the space **www . kickstarter . com/projects/twcsph/send-michele-to-boston-book-festival. **Thank you!**

**Okay, so Emmett was holding the story hostage, not letting me get the words on paper. Finally, I threw him through a window so I could write. Also, somehow Edward took control of this chapter in the middle. What can I say he's a controlling vamp that manages to always get his way. Enjoy!**

**Slippin' and a Slidin' Emmett Cullen Style**

**Chapter 3 – LA PUSH BABY – Part 1**

**Emmett's POV**

While last night was the worst experience of my life, overall yesterday was a totally great day and I knew that today was going to be even better. Those guys really knew how to have fun and Paul was going to have to pay big time for being a pompous ass in thinking he could best me in an eating contest. I never told them that some of my vague human memories were of winning a pie eating contest at a county fair when I was only 10 years old.

I was so excited about going today that I had to ask.

"Carlisle, can we leave for the beach now?"

"Emmett, for the hundredth time NO, it's the middle of the night; people don't go to the beach at 5 am." Well Rose and I do, but we're not swimming then.

"Ahhh, when then?"

"We are leaving at 9 am, now I suggest you go find something to do and relax yourself until then," he said, rolling his eyes at me.

Something to do, hmm, Jasper was reading and Alice had Rose and Esme making sure we had everything, as if she'd forget something, please, the woman was more prepared than the Marines going into a battle. They probably should get her to join. I can see it now Drill Sergeant Alice, she'd probably scare them half to death, heck she scared us and we're already dead!

Maybe Bella wanted to do something; I headed down to the cottage to see. I hopped up on the edge of their bedroom window.

"Hey, Bella, want to do something?"

"EMMETT, get out of here, we're busy," Edward growled while throwing a sheet over them, and Bella giggled.

"Busy, you can do that any time. I'm bored and by the way put some clothes on; no one wants to see your skinny butt."

"May I remind you that this is our house and you're hanging in our bedroom window uninvited? And, my butt isn't skinny," he huffed.

"Funny, you had no problem hanging in Bella's window uninvited." Take that little brother. Bella was trying to hold back from laughing.

"Emmett, his butt is just fine, actually more than fine, yummy in fact." She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"Gross, Bells."

She laughed, "Besides, he was invited. How else would he have been able to come in…since…vampires have…to...be invited into the house," she was now starting to snort from holding the laughter in and Edward was starting to crack a smile. I loved my lil sis, she was a ball and so easily baited.

"My Love, don't encourage him." Yeah right, like I needed encouragement.

"So that means Newton and the others could just come and go as they pleased with no invite since they're not vampires?" Yeah, Edward was growling big time now.

"You've met Mike and while he works in an outdoor store, he is far from the outdoor type, just picture him climbing a tree. I could climb a tree better than him when I was a human and have. Besides I would have shut the window on his skinny butt," she said and was all out hysterical now.

"So, maybe you should have let vamp-boy in sooner and he would have cracked before the wedding?"

"Hmmm interesting thought, but since that's water under the bridge and I have my cracked vamp-man, you might want to go help Alice load up the cars or think of some interesting games for today because I intend to get hot and heavy with him right now."

"Alright, I'm going, I can see you guys aren't going to be any fun, and by the way, you two are as bad as me and Rose." Take that and I quickly slipped down from the window.

As I headed up to the house and went to help Alice, I thought about what Bella said, she's right we needed some games. By the time we were ready to leave at 9 am, I had a bunch of games in mind, and they were going to be lots of fun.

**Carlisle's POV**

Thank the heaven's it was finally time to leave. If I had to endure one more minute of Emmett asking if we could leave, I was going to run screaming from the house. As everyone gathered in the living room, I could see how excited they were and truth be told, so was I. It still astounded me that we were friends and how well we got along with the wolves. If someone had told me that when we made the treaty, I would have said they were crazy. We have come a long way from that day and it's all thanks to my newest daughter who seemed to be vibrating with excitement as much as Alice.

"Okay, who is driving with whom?"

"We'll come with you and Esme," Edward said.

"Oh no, no way, no how, Carlisle's taking Emmett and Rose because if I'm in the car with both Emmett and Alice in their overexcited states, I'll drive right into a tree," Jasper groaned.

"Hey, I don't care who we drive with, feel free to take Mr. and Mrs. Lustful. Let's just get in the cars already and go. The beach and fun are waiting for us," Emmett said. We all piled into the cars and headed for La Push.

We arrived in no time and even though we were invited I still felt a bit nervous. When we all piled out of the cars, I almost fell over when Paul approached us. Of all the wolves, he was the only one who still hated us, so couldn't understand why he was the welcoming committee.

"Hi, Rosalie, so nice to see you, glad you could come today," Paul said and then wrapped his arm around her.

I think Rose was in shock because her eyes were wide and she didn't utter a word. Then he did the unthinkable, he kissed her on the cheek. You could hear everyone gasping in shock except a few chosen ones. I wonder if they knew something.

"You should visit us more often," Paul said. I looked at Esme and the two of us just stared at one another wondering where we were because it had to be an alternate universe.

"Yes…um…that…be nice," she stuttered out.

What the heck? Rose visit? Hugging and kissing her? And where was Emmett? I'm positive he'd want to kick Paul's ass for touching Rose or even looking at her. I looked around to find him standing off to the side with his arms folded on his chest grinning like a cat that ate a canary. What was up with that? I'm sure that was the question on almost everyone's mind.

**Emmett's POV**

The minute we got out of the cars, I scanned the area and saw Paul heading over to us. This was going to be so much fun, so I backed away a bit to watch the show. When Paul hugged Rose, her eyes practically bugged out of her head. Although, that was nothing compared to when he kissed her. Almost everyone gasped and when I heard my wife stuttering, I decided it was time to go over.

Slipping my arm around her, I asked, "Hey, Rosie, how ya doin'?"

"Fine, fine. Let's go down to the water." As we walked, she kept looking over her should to see if Paul was following us. "Emmett, what the hell was that? What did you do to make him act that way? I know it was you, so don't deny it."

"I can't lie to you, Rose. Paul lost the hot dog eating contest to me so he had to make good on the bet. Please don't be angry, but I knew I was going to win and he needed to be taken down. You should have seen the guys cheering for me."

"I'm not angry. I was just a little shocked by it all and feared that you were going to pound him into the ground for touching me. I didn't want our day ruined." I'm surprised she didn't pound him into the ground.

"Babe, you know me so well. By the way, you look totally hot in that bikini." I leaned over and kissed her soundly on the lips. "Want to join the others?"

"Sure, I love you. But maybe next time give me a little warning. If I wasn't so shocked I could have made a bit of a show." Next time? Man who would have thought my Rosie would have wanted to be in on it and to make a show.

"I love you too babe, thanks for being such a good sport."

We walked over and joined everyone who was now laughing up a storm. Embry was explaining, "Paul…had…to…kiss a vamp… he lost the bet."

"Who knew a vampire could eat that much food. They're not even supposed to eat!" Paul yelled while waving his hands in the air.

"Oh come on, he's not just any old vamp, its Emmett we're talking about here," Seth defended.

"Yeah, you were stupid enough to think you could out do him, so you paid the price. Even I'm that naïve," Quil stated and Embry agreed.

"That's right, I'm the most awesomest vamp there is, thanks guys. Hey, how about some cliff diving? And then I have some games for us to play."

"Yeah man, let's go." So we headed to the cliffs.

**Edward's POV**

When we arrived I heard Paul's thoughts, but they didn't make sense at first. _'Damn Cullen, now I have to do this. How could he have eaten all those hotdogs?' _ He greeted Rose with a hug and I quickly put my arm around Bella and backed the three of us away. I thought for sure Emmett was going to kill him for that. No one touched Rose.

Then when I looked over at Seth, Quil and Embry they were laughing and elbowing one another. Even Sam and Emily were laughing. I heard there thoughts, _'oh this is going to be so good when he kisses Rose. I hope she smacks him.' 'He made the bet; maybe this will teach him a lesson.'_ That's when it came to me that this was the price of the bet, no wonder Emmett wasn't growling and pouncing on Paul like a possessive lunatic.

It seemed that other than Paul, all the wolves liked Emmett. In their thoughts, they couldn't wait to hang out today with him. Although, when you think about it, it made sense, they were teenagers and so was Emmett.

When Emmett announced he had games for us to play, I groaned. I wasn't playing any games. I leaned over to my wife and whispered, "Bella, you gave him the idea for games, I'm not participating. I just want to go build sandcastles with Ness and admire my lovely wife in her sparkling blue almost not there bikini."

She looked at me smiling and opened her mind to me, "Dear, please for me, there might be a reward in it for you. Besides they'll be fun, I'll make sure of that." I think I was officially scared of what she was planning, but decided the reward was going to be worth any of the consequences or humiliation.

We all then went over to say hello to everyone else and Bella bolted at vampire speed from my embrace screaming, "Wolf girl, how are you?" Throwing her arms out and hugging Emily.

Emily in return opened her arms and screamed, "Vampire girl, I've missed you?" I think the look of shock on my face is what brought Sam over.

"Hey, Edward, good to see you." He held out his hand to shake and I immediately took it.

"Hi, Sam, nice to see you, too. Do I want to know what that's all about?" Actually, I was dying to know.

"My little Nessie, come here and let me see you." He reached out and took Ness from me giving her a big hug and kiss. "I can't wait to have one of my own just like you." Ness giggled, hugging Sam. Until that moment, I hadn't realized how much we were truly accepted for who we were by the tribe.

"I'll tell you, but you might not like it too much. I know how it freaks you out that she would hang out with us especially when she was human." Freaking out was putting it mildly.

"I've gotten better about it, not much I'll admit, but I can't control the overwhelming need to protect her. Even now that's she's more durable, the feeling never dissipated and it drives her crazy. I told her it was a vampire thing. Of course, she told me it was an Edward thing since my siblings never do that. It was then that I noticed how Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle actually did do it, but they were smart enough to hide it from their wives." What the heck did I just admit all that to Sam for?

"Trust me it's not a vampire thing. I have that same overpowering feeling about Emily and it drives her crazy too. I would have been totally freaked if it was the reverse and Emily was hanging out with vampires. A few times she told me if I didn't step away from her, she was going to hit me with a frying pan. Not that it would have hurt me, but it would have hurt her hand. Usually when that happens, I just phase and go for a run to get out of her hair for a bit," he laughed.

"Yeah, well I WAS hit with a frying pan once by Bella. Now I know where that idea came from."

"No way, how did she manage that?"

"I can't read her mind so I never saw it coming. The funny thing is that I was always the one telling everyone not to antagonize the newborn, but I went ahead and did just that. She wanted to go down to visit Charlie alone and I may have told her that she couldn't go alone, that it wasn't safe. Everyone was out hunting and that as soon as they came back someone would go with her because she needed protection and Emmett and I needed to go out next to hunt. We were standing in the kitchen when she sort of flipped out on my ass. Before I knew it, a frying pan slammed into the side of my head. That wasn't even the worst of it." Why was I spilling my guts?

"How could it get any worse?"

"One word, Emmett. After she realized what she did, she was beside herself. She jumped on me kissing my face and apologizing over and over even though I told her I was fine. She was so upset going on and on about what a horrible person she was begging me not to leave her. As if I'd ever leave the love of my existence. Right in the middle of all that, Emmett walked in and asked what was going on. I tell you I think Emmett has a gift of knowing when something embarrassing is going down that he can use against you. Bella told him everything because she wanted to be sure I wasn't hurt. Needless to say, he was grinning like he just won the lottery."

"Yeah, he really does have that knack and to him, it was probably better than winning the lottery. Look what he did to Paul today, although Paul definitely deserved it mind you, but he is certainly creative, I'll give him that."

"Definitely creative, he had the frying pan she hit me with, which had a profile of my face imprinted on it, framed and hung it in our kitchen as a surprise. I wanted to throw it out, but he argued it was art. The frying pan jokes are still going on, not to mention the gifts of everything frying pan related. This is probably going to go on for the next decade unless something else happens."

"Should I venture a guess that that something else will most likely still be you and Bella?"

"Most likely, we're like high entertainment for him."

"That's what I thought, both of you are easy targets."

"Daddy, Uncle Sam, can we go down to the sand and play?" Uncle Sam, interesting, and look at the smile on his face when she said that.

"Of course, sweetie, we'll just let mommy know."

"Its fine honey, you guys go, and we'll be along shortly. Love you, guys."

"Love you, too." So the three of us headed to the beach to play in the sand, but on the way Sam started to explain the whole vampire/wolf girl thing to me.

"It was the first time Bella came with Jake to our house to meet Emily. All the guys were there and they were busting on Jake about his thoughts of calling Bella or not after she found out he was a wolf. Well, when Bella came in to meet Emily, she greeted her with 'hi, vampire girl' and Bella came back with 'hi, wolf girl.' And, the rest my friend, is history," he laughed and I still couldn't believe how it disturbed me with her being with so many wolves at once while she was human.

"Well, that's not as bad as I imagined. Although, I can't help that it still bristles me that she was with so many young wolves while human. I guess that's never going to change," I laughed.

"Probably not. I know it's not going to for me. And, if I have a little one like this, it will probably get worse."

"Daddy?" Ness reached out her little arms to me to take her from Sam. _'Look at him, he just looks so happy being called daddy.'_ Sam thought and I couldn't help grinning like a fool.

"Sam, you have no idea. It's just sad that one day she'll be grown and not be able to call me daddy anymore because I'll still be seventeen. Then she'll have Jake and won't need me at all." That seriously upset me and it's the first time that I've voiced it to someone.

"You have nothing to worry about, you'll always be daddy. Maybe not out with the general public will she be able to say it out loud, but she'll be thinking it and you are at least lucky enough to be able to read her mind to hear it. Also, at home and down here on the rez that will never have to change for you. As far as Jake goes, he'll be important to her and love him beyond all reason, just like Bella does you. They'll have fights because as guys it's in our nature to do or say stupid things, and then she'll be calling you, her daddy to comfort her. Then you'll call Jake to yell at him for being stupid, they'll make up, she'll call you to let you know everything is fine and tell you didn't have to yell at Jake, but glad you did. She'll tell you how much she loves you and that you are the best dad in the world. And I know you're probably wondering how I know all this."

"Yes, I really am." I'm kind of shocked to say the least.

"It's because it's happened to me with Emily and her dad. I'm guessing you haven't experienced this with Bella yet."

"Well, once, but I didn't know that that was what it was or this was a common occurrence. We had an argument so I walked into the other room to calm myself. I heard her on the phone, but thought she was talking to Esme or Carlisle. How I wish it was one of them. Let me just say that Charlie's phone call was a shock. And me, a vampire was actually afraid of him. I couldn't get two words in edgewise. He told me off like nobody's business and that if I didn't apologize, he would be coming down with his gun. Even if the gun couldn't hurt me, it certainly got the point across loud and clear." We were both laughing over that image.

"Same for me with Emily's dad and I'm a wolf. It just doesn't matter what or who you are, dads are scary and overprotective when it comes to their little girls."

"Thanks Sam, you're very wise like Carlisle. I never thought about it that way before it certainly makes me feel better." _'Wow did he seriously compare me to Carlisle? A doctor and smarter than anyone else I've ever met, who has lived and seen more than I can even imagine, just wow.'_

We arrived at the beach and started building our sandcastles. Bella and Emily had come down shortly thereafter and were helping us as well. It wasn't long before they took shape and looked like something out of a storybook.

"Ness, honey, that's beautiful," Emily complimented.

"Thanks, Aunt Emily."

Bella opened her mind up to me _'I didn't realize how much time she spends down here. Are you okay with her calling them aunt and uncle?'_ My sweetheart was always worried about me. I looked up at her smiling my special smile that she loved so much. _'I'm glad, they love her and us very much you know.'_ I gave a slight nod. It was true, they did love us, Jasper told me as much, which shocked me to no end with the revelation a few weeks ago when some of the pack members came over with Jake.

"Hey, are you two having a private conversation?" Emily inquired.

"Yes, you caught us. We do it so often that we don't even realize we do it sometimes. Sorry about that," Bella admitted while biting her lip. Her blushing and blood may be gone, but those other traits remained. God I was such a lucky man.

"No worries, I just heard Emmett and the others talk about it. Well mostly Emmett griping. I was just surprised; it's really nice actually to have such a connection."

"I can see Sam and your connection at times too. You and him can exchange glances, looks, or just a movement toward one another and know exactly what the other is thinking," Bella said.

"Really? Jake said that to me once, but I didn't believe him," Emily said.

"So whose castle is that Ness?" I inquired.

"It's Princess Mommy and you are over here daddy, you're the Prince, you're riding in on a white horse, Jake said it had to be white, I wanted it to be silver like your car, to visit after having saved the princess from the ogre. You're going to take the princess to a movie, kiss her goodnight, marry her, have a cute little baby girl, and then live happily ever after." We were all pretty much laughing over the story of what she perceives as her parents life. If only it had been that simple.

"Look at Sam's castle, isn't that nice honey?"

"Yes, it's really nice, but it needs to have blood in the moat."

"What? Blood, why would it need that?" Jeez where does she come up with this stuff?

"Well, that's Count Dracula's castle and his castle has a blood moat." Oh god, everyone was now frozen in place.

"How do you know that?"

"Yesterday when we were building sandcastles Uncle Emmett told me. Grandpa knows him so maybe we should ask?"

"EMMETT! EMMETT GET OVER HERE NOW!" I screamed. Carlisle immediately flew over to us having heard the conversation. Damn Emmett and his wild stories. I'm going to kill him.

**Emmett's POV**

I was cliff diving with the guys when I heard Edward screaming, "EMMETT! EMMETT GET OVER HERE NOW!"

"CRAP!"

"Hey, Em man, what did you do now to your uptight brother that he's screaming like a banshee?"

"It's probably no big deal, but you know how he is, I have to get over there before he blows a gasket."

"I HEARD THAT EMMETT! AND, FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT UPTIGHT OR SCREAMING LIKE A BANSHEE, QUIL!"

"Quil, dude, don't poke the beast down there." They were all laughing.

"We're coming too, not going to miss the fireworks. Your brother knows how to flip a lid like no one else. You know if he was a wolf with that temper, he'd be bursting into one all the time," Seth snickered while we were all hysterical, it was so true.

"I HEARD THAT TOO, SETH!"

"Then you know it's true, admit it Edward." Seth was a serious instigator.

We all ran down to the beach to see what the banshee wanted. I'm sure it wasn't anything, but with Edward everything was a HUGE deal. The dude needed to chill. We arrived, just as Ness asked Carlisle the question.

"Grandpa, maybe you can tell daddy about the vampire Count Dracula and his castle having a blood moat since you know him." I could see all the others had an ear turned toward them to hear his response.

"Okay, let's just say that Uncle Emmett has a wild imagination, incredibly wild, like Wild Kingdom wild. There is no real vampire called Count Dracula, but there was this evil human man who lived a long time ago in a castle. He's dead now. He did not have a blood moat as much as Emmett wishes it were the case. I didn't know him, I only heard about him from stories people would tell. People gave him that name because he was a very bad man, and over the years, the stories have taken on a life of their own and have become twisted into something else that isn't even close to the truth." I was barely able to hold the laughter in as Carlisle explained this.

"Oh, so it's like a fairytale, but not a nice one like with the princesses or vampires that mommy tells me." Wait, hold the deer's antlers, Bella had vampire fairytales?

"Exactly, honey." Okay, having Carlisle glare at me was a bit scary.

"Wait, what are these vampire fairytales that mommy tells you?' Cripes, I had to know.

"Emmett, I'm warning you, stop."

"Edward, chill dude, it's a fair question."

"No, it's not, isn't it bad enough you have filled her head with this crazy story?"

"Oh come on man, admit it, it was funny. I bet every one of you was shocked when Ness asked about Count Dracula. Sorry I missed the looks on your faces."

"He's right you know," Quil and the other guys agreed, while still laughing.

"You know, Edward, I hate to say this, but Seth is probably right, you'd be bursting into wolf form all the time if you were one."

Edward was now laughing as he looked at Sam, "Especially if I had to deal with Emmett constantly. How about you take him on for a bit, let's see how long you last before he has you bursting left, right, and center, Sam."

"Point taken and now that I think about it, glad he's a vampire and not a wolf. These guys are enough to deal with," he laughed.

"Hey, I'm not that bad."

All I heard in unison was, "YOU ARE, TOO."

"Maybe, but I'm the fun one. So, who's up for some cliff diving?"

Nessie jumped up and yelled, "I am Uncle Emmett, just like yesterday okay?"

Ut oh, everyone's eyes went wide and if I didn't know any better Edward was starting to look like one of those cartoon characters where the top of their heads blew off and steam came out of their ears while they turned beet red.

"EMMETT, you have a two second head start before I chase you down and rip you to shreds."

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER, I'M GOING TO BE TOAST!

**A/N Please review and I'll arrange for you to go cliff diving with Emmett right after me!**


	4. La Push Baby Pt 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer's does.**

**Slippin' and a Slidin' Emmett Cullen Style**

**Chapter 4 – LA PUSH BABY – Part 2**

**Esme's POV**

I heard Carlisle explaining Count Dracula to everyone. I had to laugh, that Emmett, he never ceases to amaze me with the things he comes up with. My son has a serious imagination. Now if he could only put it to good use and not drive us all crazy that would be nice, but definitely too much to ask for. He mostly drove Edward and Bella crazy. Although, my poor baby boy Edward always had a more difficult time dealing with things.

When I heard him ask about cliff diving and Nessie's response, I knew right away that this wasn't going to be good. Maybe just maybe Emmett wasn't stupid enough to actually take her.

Just hearing Edward scream, "EMMETT, you have a two second head start before I chase you down and rip you to shreds." And then seeing Emmett take off with Edward hot on his heels, I knew someone had to intervene otherwise the two of them would take out half the forest. I flew over to Carlisle's side.

**Carlisle's POV**

I can't believe that Emmett would do that. What in the world was he thinking taking a child up on the cliffs, not to mention that with Bella's history it would be looked at unfavorably. Okay, HUGE understatement there.

I leaned over to Sam and said, "Sam, I'll trade you those two for the entire pack. What do you say?"

"I'm no fool Carlisle; I know a bad deal when I see one. They're all yours." Yeah they were mine and even when they were like this, that thought still made me smile inside.

Just then Esme flew over to me. "Carlisle, sweetheart, please go after them before they take out half the forest or one of my babies gets hurt, like Edward." Edward may be fast and be able to read minds, but sometimes Emmett can get over on him and it's never been pretty when that happens. I don't want my sweet wife to be upset that her Edward would be hurt in some fashion. He truly was her baby boy.

"I guess I should," I sighed. "Don't worry my love, nothing will happen, I'll bring them back so we can talk this out rationally."

"Yes, but bring them back to me I want to have a word with my sons." Oh, they were going to be sorry now, Esme wanted a word.

"Of course dear." And, off I flew after the two five year old vampires.

I caught up to them deep into the forest. Emmett was sitting high atop a pine tree while Edward was down below. Every time Edward would start to climb Emmett moved to another tree.

"Emmett I'm going to kill you."

"Dude, it's not what you think." Is it ever with Emmett?

"How could it not be? There's only one thing to think. You're a crazy, immature vampire with no common sense whatsoever."

"I am not and how about you. You're a hot headed, ill tempered vampire that should have been a wolf or maybe you were one in a prior life."

"Alright, ENOUGH! Emmett, get out of that tree now. Edward, step back and let him down, no fighting. We will walk back in a civil fashion and discuss this rationally."

"What? There is no way I'm letting him get away from me. I'm going to kill him for endangering Ness."

"Edward would you listen to yourself, where do you think he's he going? He is coming with me and that's that."

"Emmett, get down here now."

"No way, not until he promises he's not going to do anything." Oh good lord, I'd rather be dealing with wolves.

"Really Carlisle, the wolves? You'd take them over us?"

"Yes Edward, the wolves, at least they are reasonable, unlike you two. Now promise him so he'll come down and we can sort this all out."

"Okay, Emmett I promise I won't do anything until after we get back and discuss this together. Happy now?"

"Yes I am." Emmett proceeded to come out of the tree and we started walking back.

"So what's this about the wolves?" Ever the curious Emmett.

"Well, Carlisle would rather be dealing with the wolves. He even offered to trade us two for the entire pack."

"Daddy-o, come on, we're not that bad. We just like to have fun."

"Fun, are you insane, this isn't fun." I couldn't believe he thought this was fun.

"But, wait a minute, so we're going to live on the rez now? Wow, that'll be totally cool, Emily is a blast."

"Actually, you're not, Sam turned the deal down recognizing he had a good thing going with the pack and how much trouble you guys were."

"HEY," they both yelled, "we're not that bad."

"Ahh yeah, sometimes you are." How did they miss the obvious was beyond me.

"But we don't mean to be," I heard them mumble.

"I know you don't and honestly, I really wouldn't have traded either of you. I love you both." And I truly did, even though they were a pain in my ass at times.

"I love you too Pops." Emmett said. He seriously had more names or made up names for 'dad' than anyone I knew, but I didn't mind because I really liked that I was someone's dad.

"Dad, I love you too." Edward said and that made me feel ever so good. He rarely ever called me that and I relished any time he did it.

I guess now was good time as any to impart them with the good news. "Oh and incidentally, some good news for you two, your mother wants to have a word with both of you when we get back." That put a smile on my face when I saw both of them gulp.

**Emmett's POV**

After Carlisle told us Esme wanted a word, I knew right then and there I should have stayed up in that tree. Esme wasn't to be trifled with; she was fierce when it came to us fighting.

On our walk back Edward kept glaring at me. Geez the dude needed to get a grip, but for once in my life I decided it best to stay quiet until I had protection with my peeps.

"Emmett, stop thinking they'll protect you from me because they won't."

"Dude, I don't need any protection, but it's nice to have people on your side."

"Alright you two, that's it, we're running the rest of the way. This needs to be over." Carlisle said.

"Fine."

"Fine."

We arrived back in a few seconds to see everyone standing around laughing. Well that was just weird.

Esme approached us and I took a step back. Mom was scary and she had that look on her face.

"Emmett, where do you think you're going?"

"Ahhh, no place?"

Before either of us knew it Esme grabbed Edward and I by the ear dragging us over to Ness.

"Now, the two of you are going to talk civilly about the situation like you should've in the first place."

"Emmett, you begin. Edward, you listen."

"Well, mom, I love you."

"Stop sucking up Emmett," Edward yelled.

"Edward calm down." Esme instructed and I smirked at him. "And Emmett, get on with it."

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. We went cliff diving yesterday, but it was perfectly safe."

"SAFE! ARE YOU SERIOUS! BELLA…ALMOST…" Mom interrupted him. "EDWARD don't you dare finish that sentence, calm down son." Then I saw mom eyeing Jasper to send Edward some calming waves. Thank goodness, he was about to blow a gasket.

"Am not." You lunatic disguised as a vampire.

**Edward's POV**

Why is everyone laughing, this certainly isn't a laughing matter. This can't be good if Bella's laughing too.

I couldn't believe Emmett, was he just insane? Could a vampire go insane? If so, he surely had and now Jasper was trying to calm me down. I knew I almost said something deadly about Bella and the cliffs, but he makes me lose control of what flies out of my mouth sometimes.

"Alright, then you explain to me how it was so 'safe'." Emmett was seriously delusional and it looked like everyone else was too from the smiles on their faces.

"Well, we dove from a different level, much, much lower which was perfectly safe."

"I don't believe you. You're just telling me that to get off the hook." I seethed.

"I AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO! You're view of 'safe' maybe one thing in delusional Emmett-land, but it's certainly not the same as mine!" What is wrong with him?

"You mean weird-assed Edward-land where everyone should be wrapped in bubble wrap for fear of something happening?"

"Okay, enough!" Esme yelled at us. "Edward, since you aren't going to believe anything Emmett says how about you listen to your own daughter."

"Yeah, that'd be okay," I grumbled.

Bella came to my side with Ness and kissed me on the cheek and said, "Ness, honey, why don't you tell daddy all about your diving and then show him the pictures, okay?" I felt calmer just having Ness in my arms and the fact that Bella didn't leave my side and had her arm wrapped around me helped immensely.

"Sure momma. Where should I start daddy?"

"How about at the beginning." That was always a good place.

"We left the house and came to the beach, built sandcastles, you know count dracula's," she conspiratorially whispered the last part and I had to bite back a chuckle after hearing that story. "Then we went up to Auntie Emily's for lunch where Uncle Emmett ate a bunch of hot dogs because there was no deer to eat. Auntie Emily didn't have one, so he had to eat hot dogs instead. Everyone wanted to see who could eat the most and that was Uncle Emmett. He was awesome, didn't even throw up. He was so happy winning that he started dancing with Auntie Emily to celebrate."

Now I couldn't hold back the chuckle because just thinking of Emmett winning the hot dog eating contest and puking was pretty funny. Not to mention his celebratory dances, which were always epic. He would first drag one of the ladies into one, but if none were present, he was an equal opportunity dragger-inner that I have been party to on occasion when standing too close to him. One time he bet a ton of money on the superbowl and his football team won. I just happened to be sitting right next to him on the couch watching too, when he jumped up and grabbed me into a giant bear hug. Having my arms pinned to my side there was no way to fight him off as he danced us around the living room.

"Then after lunch, we went back to the beach, played in the water and Jake and the guys went cliff diving. I wanted to go too, so I asked Uncle Emmett to take me and he said yes." I had to hold myself together to let Ness finish the story. Bella must have realized this and opened her mind to me _'sweetheart, I'm here, trust me it's not bad, let her tell it, she's enjoying it, and maybe you'll even take her afterwards.'_ Was she serious that I would take her? But I had to trust her so I focused on my baby girl in my arms and the love of my life's scent with her arm around me.

"See, the thing is daddy, up there," she pointed to the top of the cliffs, "that's where the wolves and vampires can cliff dive. I can't go there because I'm not a wolf or vampire, but a hybrid." Now I couldn't imagine where this was going. "There's a special place where the hybrids, you know half human, half vampires can cliff dive, see over there by that wall," she pointed to a small wall that was no more than five feet high, "that's where I went and Uncle Emmett stood in the water and caught me. It was lots of fun." She then put her hand on my face and showed me everything.

Okay, so I totally overreacted, but I'm entitled to, it's my baby and it was Emmett after all that took her. I knew I had to make some sort of apology, so I manned up.

"Emmett…I'm…"

"Come on bro, spit it out already."

"I'm sorry I overreacted, but you have to understand I worry about my little girl. I can't stand the thought of her getting hurt or doing something dangerous. It makes me crazy, she's everything to me. What did you expect me to think when you just generally said cliff diving."

"Ahhh, I totally get it Edward. I would never put Ness in harm's way, you have to trust me on that, I love her, and she's everything to me too. Besides, we all know you're crazy, don't have to tell us, we're used to you." Yeah, too bad I'm not used to you even after 60 odd years living with your ludicrous ass.

"Thanks Em, you really are a good brother and the best uncle." He really was which was no lie.

"Hey," Jasper yelled, "what am I chopped liver over here? I'm the best uncle too." I had to laugh; those two were always competing who was best.

"Nope, not chopped liver, but her other best uncle and my brother too," I grinned at him and he stepped closer.

"Cool, now that that is settled, time for a Cullen group hug. Come on, give brother bear a hug, he needs one." Why didn't I see that one coming?

He is such a huggy touchy feely person that everything needs to end with a hug-fest of some sort, but it's what he needs from us. Where I was used to not being touched because of the time and way I grew up, Emmett was the complete opposite. Of course, that all changed after I met Bella, then I wanted to be touched all the time by her. I actually crave it and just by that little change, I've become more accustomed to hugging members of my family which has made Esme very happy.

The whole Cullen family formed around us and hugged when I heard Emmett think, 'hey, this isn't enough' what in the world did that even mean? I had my answer right after that thought.

"Hey you guys, come on, Seth, Emily, Sam and the rest of you, get over here and snuggle into the huggle with us. We're all family, 'O'hana,' no one gets left behind." Clearly he watches too much Disney with Ness.

It didn't take Seth, Quil, Embry or Jake all of a second to join in and when the others saw it; they came too, even Paul which was quite surprising. I guess he didn't want to be left out, that or was afraid of Emmett and the guys making fun of him. Maybe he might even be coming around to liking us?

"Now isn't this nice, my O'hana, I love you all." Emmett declared and everyone hmmm-hmm'd in approval.

After about five minutes, Emmett stated, "Okay people, summer huggle is now adjourned, we will resume are beach partying. Everyone, as you were."

I turned and kissed my beautiful wife and daughter, and then asked Ness, "what would you like to do?"

"I'd like to go cliff diving in the special hybrids spot with you daddy, please?" And she jutted he lip out at me. God how could I refuse that face.

"Ness, I know what we're going to do today." I smiled. Cripes, now I was quoting Disney. So sue me, I liked Agent P and got a kick out of Dr. Doofenshmirtz because that was definitely Emmett with all his crazy ideas.

"Really daddy, can we?"

"Really sweetheart, let's go. You show me where I need to stand." She loved showing me how to do things and if it made her happy, it made me happy.

"Right there daddy. Okay, here I come. You have to count to three."

"One, two, three, jump." And I caught her in my arms and spun us around in the water. Hearing her giggling was music to my ears and I could hear Bella laughing too from the shoreline where she was looking mighty hot in that bikini. Alice was right; this was all I dreamed of and more in being able to come to La Push today with my family. It did break my heart that I couldn't go with Bella when she invited me way back when, but this makes everything worthwhile because if she never met Jake and he told her what he did, I wouldn't be standing here today with my precious baby girl and Bella.

We cliff jumped for a bit while Bella continued to watch and then I said to Ness, "how about we go spend some time with mommy?" then whispering very low so no one else could hear but Ness, "we need to give mommy a big hug."

She leaned her hand on my neck and said, "but daddy we're all wet?"

I looked at her wiggling my eyebrows smiling and said, "I know," and she giggled.

We quickly exited the water and tackled Bella into a giant wet hug. We all fell down into the sand laughing.

"Momma, I love you."

"I love you too, but mostly I love you when you aren't wet," she laughed and Ness kissed her and said, "I'm going to play with Grandma now." And got up and ran to Esme who scooped her up with a huge smile.

I couldn't hold back my laughing either, but then Bella turned to me with a serious look on her face and I gulped. "And you mister, should know better than to get your wife all wet." Well that statement made me laugh even harder. ".GOD!" she exclaimed, "Emmett is so rubbing off on you."

"Maybe." I said and then kissed her behind her ear before whispering, "I like you all wet. Well, that's not entirely true, because I like you any way you are my love." And I kissed her soundly on the lips and we were embraced in a heated kiss when I heard the wave crash onto the shore which covered us in water. I didn't care, I kept kissing my love.

"Hey, Burt Lancaster, come on, you have from here to eternity to be doing that," Emmett yelled at us and laughed. I didn't care; I just kept kissing my wife. I was going to have our romantic beach moment no matter what. We had it when she was human on Isle Esme and now we were having it as vampires that didn't need to breathe.

We rolled around on the sand and another wave hit us which caused us to laugh. I reclaimed her lips and continued to kiss her until I heard someone clear their throat.

"Ahem!"

"Emmett, leave us alone."

"That would be all fine and good, but I'm not Emmett." I looked up and was shocked to see it was Carlisle.

"Oops, sorry Carlisle." I said sheepishly. Okay maybe not really sorry, but sorry it was Carlisle.

"Oh god…did…hear…embarrass…" Bella moaned and hid her head against my chest.

"No Bella, no one but Emmett. However, I thought it prudent to come down here and…well…um…get your attention before someone lost their swimsuits. No need to add anymore to Emmett's fodder collection with you two." I was shocked Carlisle was stuttering. _'Son, I know you were getting a bit carried away when I heard Emmett yell 'Burt Lancaster' at you. I know you two would never want to put on a show like the others, you'd be mortified and not be able to face anyone. You know she'd be beet red right now if she was human. I know you miss that and so do we all, it was quite endearing. Now collect yourselves and come join the barbeque before something does happen.'_

I nodded at Carlisle and he thought to me _'I'll see you guys in a bit, it's going to take some time to get Bella settled down enough before you can get her to realize no one saw. Some things will always remain the same and never change.'_ He smiled at me, turned and walked back up to the barbeque area.

I pulled Bella to me tighter and rubbed loving circles on her back, telling her, "It's okay sweetheart, no big deal, no one saw. Em doesn't count, he always sees." Well isn't that the truth, he always does see. I could feel her relaxing in my arms and thought just a little bit more and she'd be okay.

"Are you sure…but Carlisle," she whispered.

"Nothing happened; he was just worried about us. I'm sorry I got a bit carried away."

"It's not your fault, I got carried away."

I laughed and put my finger under her chin to have her look at me, "how about this, it was both our faults because we love each other so much and we're still living in the honeymoon phase," I smiled and she smiled back. I knew everything was now fine. Yes, some things never change, but for that I'm grateful.

"Yeah, blame it on the honeymoon phase, I like that," she giggled.

"Come and get it, grubs on the table guys," Paul yelled.

"OH HELL YEAH, HOT DOGS HERE I COME," Emmett yelled.

"Let's go, we've got to stop the crazy ass from eating before there's a repeat of yesterday."

"I know I don't ever want to have to listen to him regurgitating again that was enough for ten lifetimes."

"Me too sweetheart, me too." So off we ran up to the barbeque to head off the betting of how much food Emmett would be able to eat because we all knew it would be coming.

**A/N Please review. Reviews are like little pieces of candy, so sweet to open and I LOVE candy.**

**A special thanks to nails233 for her help. BTW, you should check out her stories, they are awesome. She also has written a book called Mocked by Destiny AND Mocked by Faith which can be purchased on the Writer's Coffee Shop website. They're great reads.**


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